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« on: September 13, 2014, 09:46:46 am »
Dais' coat was looking somewhat more pale blue than usual, as it often did when he was being overworked. The mayor always managed to find a lot for him to do, most of which seemed designed to just generate a whole lot of meaningless paperwork to convince the ponyfolk of Ponyville that the mayor was generally busier than she actually was. Which - Dais was slowly starting to discover - wasn't actually all that much. Still, Dais persevered happily through the long thankless hours, both because he cared deeply about Ponyville, and because one day he was going to be the mayor.
And as a somewhat more guilty pleasure - as soon as all the work blew over, the mayor did give him the papers to build a new homeless shelter on the site of an old abandoned house in Ponyville. Dais had neglected to mention to the mayor that two young fillies were squatting there already, but he figured at least one of them should probably be sent to hospital anyway, and the other he could ensure found room at the shelter. He also thought he had her todo list for some reason that he couldn't remember very well. He'd return that as soon as he could.
Now that his work was finally over, the time for the fireworks had arrived. It had been several days since he was supposed to have blown up the house but he had done his best. A few days behind schedule was nothing to worry about, but it would not be wise to put it off any longer either.
Soon enough Dais left his office to find three bulky ponies carrying several large barrels and charges outside the town hall. They probably would have been very suspicious to any random passing pony, but since Dais had become mayoral assistant, his wacky plans often drew all sorts of strange ponies to town. And besides, the TNT Bros. vests they were wearing made them look much like construction ponies.
"Mister Dais Clash?" asked one of the ponies.
"Indeed - and you must be the explosives guys ready to blow up that old house I wrote to you about."
"Torpex, Nitro and Tovex - the TNT brothers at your service, purveyors o' the finest explosives in Equestria."
"I see. And are you sure this will blow up the house completely? I don't want any debris falling around the neighborhood."
"This is a magically enhanced explosive" explained Torpex "You can rest assured that anything within the explosive range will be completely obliterated forever. Even the magic of an alicorn princess would have a very hard time bringing anything back that's been properly exploded with this stuff. Just a brief flash, a loud boom and then it's all quite cleanly gone."
"Perfect!" Dais lit up "So how much does it cost?"
"Well as you can imagine, an explosive as great as this doesn't come cheap" said Nitro "It takes forever to get the magical spell just right."
"And as such" continued Tovex "We do charge something of a premium."
"Uhh - how much?" continued Dais, wondering why spooky music seemed to be playing in his ears.
"Oh - we don't want your bits" laughed Torpex "We have more than enough of those. What we want from you, Dais, is a concession."
"That's it?!" asked Dais "Perfect - I concede that I am the coolest mayoral assistant in..."
"Not that kind of concession!" snapped Tovex "We want you to lobby the mayor to change the law!"
"Change the law?" asked Dais "You got it - I've long thought we could save so much on ink if we only printed our laws in another font..."
"Not a font change Dais" said Nitro "We want to be able to sell our explosives to Diamond Dogs."
Dais looked confused "Diamond Dogs? You do know those things enslave ponies right?"
"Come on" replied Torpex "Just because Diamond Dogs are usually cruel doesn't mean they're going to use our explosives for evil."
"Yeah - if Diamond Dogs had our explosives" pointed out Nitro "They won't need to enslave ponies to do their dirty work - the explosives will do it all!"
"And think how much money we'll make!" added Tovex. The other two brothers seemed to glare at him for saying this.
"I don't know" said Dais uneasily. He knew the mayor could be something of a pushover when an official asked her to change the law.
"Come on" said Torpex "It's only slightly corrupt, but the benefit for ponies throughout the region will be huge."
"And besides, that's the only price at which you're getting your hooves on these explosives" threw in Nitro.
Dais sighed. "Alright fine" he said "I'll ask the mayor tomorrow."
"It sounds like we have a deal, mister Dais Clash" smiled Torpex "Now let's move out and blow that house up."