Author Topic: This Dish is Killer  (Read 192 times)

Offline Darrus

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Re: This Dish is Killer
« on: October 17, 2015, 10:05:45 am »
The giant golem of bread and mozzarella was not too pleased to first be antagonized by some puny unicorn throwing its own cheese at it and then be challenged by the sudden appearance of a giant spaghetti monster. The shrieking from the ponies scattered about the ground briefly heightened in pitch as the golem, not wanting to be shown up at his own debut, stomped forward to wrastle with the noodly illusion. It's wild and brutish swings were failing to make any truly solid contact due to the spaghetti not being real, though this was merely dismissed by the golem as it being a tad too slippery for the calzone to get a grasp on right away.

Meanwhile, back in his pony shaped crater, Darrus was slowly regaining his faculties, the pegasus having fallen back into the hole he'd created sometime around the appearance of the illusion distracting this weeks monster. He gave a low groan and tried to climb back out, his hooves struggling to lift him as he was slowly beginning to remember that he had himself a pair of incredibly well toned and handsome wings, or so he'd go on to describe them in his memoirs that he had recently decided to maybe someday kind of write if he felt like it sort of.

With a few flaps he was able to finally escape the crater, coming to a wobbly landing a few feet away and shaking his head to clear it.

"Don't worry!" he loudly said, swinging a hoof over dramatically in the direction of a nearby mare attempting to flee, her pausing with a short screech of her hooves as he spoke, "I'm perfectly fine! I've taken far worse, and a simple crash landing at terminal velocity is mere child's play for this stallion! Now get your camera ready, as I think it's about time I do something jaw dropping!" Here Darrus took off into the sky, the mare just blinking in confusion before screaming once again and resuming her terrified flight.

"Alright, you," Darrus reached for his belt nicely hidden beneath his cloak, his hoof making its way towards the sheathe of one of the few things he's owned for the longest of times, "let's see how you like thiiiiiiuuuhhhhh...?"

Gone. Of course! Wher-oh, right, Lamplight had it. Locked away somewhere at her place. Welp! How is a stallion of such presence supposed to defeat giant calzone golems without a dagger!? Many a times he'd argued this very thing with AJ back on the farm, and yet never had he gained ground when it came to carrying it on his person like he'd wanted. Well, look who's laughing now! Not Darrus, cause he isn't armed!!

Hmm...

Ah, yes, of course! He cou- a sudden dive in the air to avoid a large marinara soaked appendage, Darrus' flying having brought him a bit closer than he'd realized to the golem and the other thing he was only just now realizing existed. Two monsters? Maybe he was hit harder than he'd assumed...

Anyway! This just meant he had all the more reason to check out the restaurant and see if they had themselves a cleaver or some such stashed in the kitchen, preferably behind some breakable glass and with a plaque reading "In case of shenanigans" set above it. Deciding this plan was destined to succeed exactly as described due to Darrus' having been the one to think it up, he fell into a dive to swoop into the building the golem had exited so recently, the hole it had left behind being plenty large enough for him to swiftly soar through.

Shoulder checking into the door leading to the kitchen, bouncing off, landing in the cheese, flapping wildly to get back out, succeeding, taking a moment to taste some of it and appreciate that it was delicious then shoulder checking the door again,Darrus managed to break into the kitchen where he then rummaged through the utensils not yet sunken to the bottom of the cheese flooding the place. Tossing aside stirring spoons and wisks, his searching seemed fruitless, Darrus wondering whether or not he should just detour to the Guiding Light for a couple minutes and test whether Lamplight would forgive a broken window at a time such as this.

Deciding it would take too long and subtract from his hero time, Darrus settled for grabbing hold of the nearest handle he could reach and rushing back outside, him rapidly gaining altitude and settling for being at eye level with the golem that was beginning to think that maybe that mass of noodles wasn't what it appeared to be.

"Haha!" Darrus once again shouted to try and grasp the dueling monsters attention, "Your doom has come once again after allowing you the first strike, now, prepare yourself!!"

With that Darrus swung forth his newly acquired weapon, it being revealed to be...

A spatula.

"Perfect..." Darrus muttered with a deepening expression of determination, "I can make this work..."

 


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