Author Topic: The Most Bitter of Sweet Memories  (Read 32 times)

Offline Clair

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The Most Bitter of Sweet Memories
« on: December 25, 2013, 10:54:50 am »
Beep...beep...beep......beep...beep beep...beep......beep...
............beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep......beep...


The pegasus in the hospital bed gave a spasm as her heart started up again, bringing her back into painful consciousness once more.  She looked around the hospital room, alone but for the unsteady beeping of the heart monitor that kept track of her fluctuating pulse.  Her skin was clammy and overhot, but no sweat escaped her pores.  Why?  Why couldn't they help her?  Why wasn't she able to return to her home, her family, her son?  He needed her.  Oh, how he needed her...

...beep...beep......beep beep beep beep........beep...beep...

She grimaced against the pain and leaned back against her bed again.  If the doctor was to be believed, it shouldn't be too long now.  Soon, she'd need not suffer through this sickness any longer.
Strange.  There seemed to be a buzzing noise in the back of her head...that wasn't one of her symptoms.  Unless it was new.  It seemed strangely familiar, though...like she should...know...

...beep......beep.........beep beep beep...beep...beep...

The pegasus adjusted herself on the bed again, trying to get comfortable.  She'd been there so long, with no break in the pain, no end to the exhaustion.  She'd been hallucinating rather vividly for nearly a week, more pleasant memories forcing themselves into her perceptions overlaying her sight, smell, and sound.  She looked to her bedside table.  A tear came to her cheek.  Why, she could even have sworn she could see her blind colt standing on the table, one leg through it...

...beep beep beep beep beep beep beeeeeeee-

Her heart increased its pace exponentially until it stopped and her breath caught in her throat as he pulled his leg out of the table and fell to the floor, crying out.  That wasn't a hallucination.  That was real.  And he looked terrible!  What was he doing here!?
"Mommy!" her son called out, tears spilling from his face.  "Mommy, I need you!  MOMMY!"  He struggled weakly against the floor in an attempt to rise just as she did against the bed, her heart failing and breath forsaking her.

-eeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep...beep...beep...

Her heart started again and she managed to push herself to the side of the bed.  "Clair!" she cried out, reaching down and pulling her son onto herself using her wings.  She heard a snap and felt a rush of pain, quickly subdued by the random numbness that was one of the symptoms of her sickness.  "What are you doing here?"  He calmed immediately at her touch, curling up on top of her as she enfolded him in her wings, one of which she had to pull over him with a hoof.  He felt deathly chill, and he had several scrapes and cuts on his legs.  "What have you been doing?" she asked, gently rubbing him down with her good wing to soothe his hurts in a way only a Mommy can do.
"Mommy," he said, his voice tearing at her being with its aching and yearning.  "Daddy and Itty-bitty have missed you," he continued, ignoring her questions.  "I've missed you.  When are you coming home?  It's been three weeks.  Haven't they fixed you yet?"  A note of anger crept into his tone at his last question, and she thought he might partially blame the doctors for her condition.
The pegasus opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.  She had to tell him.  She...

...beep...beep beep...beep......beep...beep...

...She couldn't tell him.  He had so few reasons to be happy.  Maybe she could give him one, if only for a single night.  "Actually, Clair...they did fix me.  I'm...going to be all better.  In fact, I just need to...stay here tonight.  I'll be able to...come home tomorrow."  As she spoke, she kept rubbing his scrapes soothingly, warming his cold body with her own overheating one, drying his tears with one hoof.

...beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

He smiled, a wonderful smile that made it seem like he was the happiest foal in the world, always was, and always would be.  "Tomorrow?  That's great!  Itty-bitty has a song she wrote for you, and she's been waiting so long to sing it.  They'll be so happy.  I'll be so happy..."
The mare smiled back at him though he can't see it, her gut clenching.  A song, just for her.  Clarity had written several in the past, none of them very good, but she put so much enthusiasm into them, and such faith that they would cheer everypony up, that there was no possible way that anypony could say anything derogatory about them.  "I'm sure you will be," the pegasus replied, glad at that moment that her son couldn't see her tears.  She rubbed him affectionately behind his left ear, and he began humming happily, a tuneless hum that spoke of contentment and joy beyond anything she knew him to know.

beep beep...beep...beep......beep...

...He needed to sleep.  She was about to tell him so, get him to dream of more pleasant things than what will happen soon, before he spoke again, more quietly this time.  "Mommy...why can't I see?"  His voice rent her even more than the previous one.  "Why do I have to be different?  Why can't I-"
"Hush, Clair."  She put her hoof to his mouth, stopping his question.  "You don't need to see.  You're special.  You always have been, and you always will be."
Her words had the opposite effect from what she intends, and he began sobbing, tears once more running down his face.  "I don't want to be special, Mommy," he wept, pulling his mouth away from her hoof.  "I want to see.  I want to be like everypony else.  I want to see the trees, the clouds, the ponds.  I-I want to see you.  I...I want to see Clarity."  He sniffed and wiped his face on her chest, his tears ripping her heart in half.  "Is she beautiful?  I...I want to know."  At that point, he was crying so hard that his words were hardly intelligible.  "I know you tell me all the time, but...Will I ever see her?  Will I ever know?"

...beep......beep......beep......beep.........beep.........

She pulled her son up to her face, ignoring just how much effort it takes for her to shift the blind colt against herself, the pain in her chest growing.  "Clair," she said, looking into his beautiful, wonderful eyes that were the source of so much of his heartache and her own.  She wished so hard that she could give him her eyes, let him see if only for a second.  "It's true that you'll probably never see a tree, never experience the beauty of a sunrise reflected on a pond.  The image of a honeybee may never grace your awareness, and...the visage of your sister will doubtless remain always unknown to you," she said, voice as comforting as she can manage.
He stilled against her, his sobs slowing.  "That being said, I envy you.  I have, in my life, seen some awful things.  There's beauty in sight, but also ugliness.  Ugliness that you will never need to see.  Besides."  She took one of his hooves and brought it up to her smiling face, aching so hard on the inside that she thought she might collapse.  "You've never needed to see to know how we felt about you.  You've heard our voices.  You've tasted of our sweetness.  You've smelled our affection."  She nuzzled him, forcing herself not to break.  "You feel our love."

......beep...beep beep...beep.........beep beep beep............beep...

The blind colt's crying had ceased, and he even had a smile on his face.  He slightly uncurled from his fetal position, wrapping his forelegs as far as they would go around his Mommy.  "Mommy...thanks," he said as she wiped his tears away again.  "You always make everything better.  Everything..."  The pegasus sighed in relief as she felt him begin to drift off to sleep.
It was short-lived, however.  "Why do you feel so warm?" he piped up out of the blue, his face contorted into a look of confusion.
The pegasus swallowed nervously.  She was afraid, with how smart he was, that he might figure something was different.  Uh...she had to come up with something.  "I'm warm?  You're just cold," she said, attempting to divert his focus back to himself.

...beep beep beep beep beep

The foal shook his head.  "Yeah, I was just out in the cold, bu-"
"The doctors," she blurted out.  "It's because of something the doctors did.  It's making me better by making me warm.  I don't feel very good, but don't worry about it.  It will be over soon," she pleaded with him, hoping fervently that he would believe her.
"Oh, okay," he said, accepting her explanation without a second thought.  "Well, here, kisses always help."  He reached his head up to his Mommy's and kissed her softly on the chin.

beep beep...beep......beep......beep...

Her eyes watered once more, and she took his hoof away from her face so he wouldn't accidentally find her tears.  "That they do.  Never forget that."  She leaned her head down and planted her lips on his forehead, tickling him under his chin.  He giggled, a sound she had missed and yearned to hear again for so long...so filled with joy and love, guileless and sweet.  Oh, that she could hear it again.
"Clair..." she said, taking a deep breath around choking sobs.  "I...love you.  So much.  I will always...love you.  Never...doubt it.  I will love you...even when sunshine...grows cold...and..."  She swallowed, unable to finish.
He took up the slack for her, smiling into her coat.  "...and when laughter falls silent."

...beep beep...beep......beep.........beep............beep......

The pegasus did her best to control her breathing, but it was becoming harder with each passing moment.  She was grateful when his next words came, soft and slurred with fatigue and sleepiness.  "Mommy...when you get home, can we go flying again?  Just the two of us?"
The mare fought against the sob that, if she let it out, would have caused her to crumble.  "Of course," she said, biting back her tears.  "In fact, I'll...fly you home tomorrow.  But right now," she urged, "go to sleep, Clair.  You need rest...after coming all this way."
The small colt shook his head, burrowing it against his Mommy.  "No," he protested, his voice contradicting his words, "I don't need rest...you need...resss..."

...beep.........beep............beep..........

The pegasus poked the colt in the ribs to check if he was asleep.  Only when she had confirmed his slumber did she allow herself to weep, softly so as not to disturb her son.  Before that night, she'd never told a lie.  She'd just told three, all to her son, whom she loved more dearly than life itself.  She couldn't possibly have let him spend this night with her sad.  She couldn't have.  It was beyond her capabilities to do so.  Even so, it left her feeling guilty.

.........beep.........beep............beep.........

She took a hoof and wrapped her wings more tightly around her son to ensure that they wouldn't fall off while...he slept.  She probably should have called somepony in to take him to a spare bed or back home, but she didn't feel up to sending him away.  She selfishly decided to keep him with her, taking comfort in the fact that she was able to leave him happy, at least for a short while.

.........beep............beep............beep beep...............

The pegasus watched her son sleep for several minutes before she noticed somepony else in the room.  "...Mother..." she whispered out, looking to her right.  There...her mother, beside her in her hour of greatest need.  She brought her hoof up to her parent's face, and it passed through it, but she didn't care.  "Mother, where's..."  Her head turned to her other side.  "Father...I..."
The stallion to her left smiled and put his insubstantial hoof to her lips, hushing her.  "Shh, little Messy...Daddy's here for you.  Sleep..."

...............beep........................beep................

Mirror Essence smiled deliriously at her parents on either side before returning her gaze to her son, sleeping peacefully atop her.  She brought her head up to his once more and laid a final kiss on his forehead.  "Goodbye, Clair.  Remember...when sunshine grows...cold, and when...laughter...falls...silent..."
She laid her head back on her pillow as the images of her parents moved in to embrace her.  A happy tear streaked down her face, and she took one more look at the wonderful bundle of joy on her chest before closing her eyes and surrendering herself to oblivion.

........................beep......................

Her left hoof fell from its place atop the colt's head to lie limply against his neck.  He subconsciously grabbed it with his own, nuzzling against it with a happy hum.

...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYkURMmojRo

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