This day could have gone much better.

He could have not overslept on the first day of his new job.
He could have not forgotten to open the front door on his way out.
He could have not gotten lost while going to the first street to make his first delivery.

He could have avoided the rambunctious pegasus who had plucked a raincloud from who knows where in this otherwise clear sky and drenched him, ruining several of the letters that were still left in his bag.

At the very least, the pegasus could have waited until he was covered in this marinara sauce which he had no explanation for. Granted, he hadn't opened his eyes yet; he was too busy contemplating how much trouble it would be to get the stains out of his cape, not to mention all the shampoo his mane would take.

Dark Matter sighs and reaches up to clear his eye area with his hoof. He freezes as he hears a roar, suddenly not sure he WANTS to know what's going on. In the end he decides to risk it.

He stands blinking for a moment. He knows there's something he's supposed to do in case of giant monster attack, he just can't think of...

The bread golem roars. Oh yes, run, that was it. He'd have to pat himself on the back later.

He begins to wheel around, but something stops him; there's a mare running towards the building for some reason! Dark Matter shakes his head in dismay. He'd always been taught that stallions should never abandon mares in trouble, and that meant he couldn't just get away now. Besides, he'd look like a sissy.

He casts his eyes about for clues as to how he can help, but comes up with nothing. Falling back on old habits, he decides to conjure an illusion to distract the beast. Unfortunately suddenly all he can think of is an even more terrifying spaghetti monster, so that's what he makes. It seems to spring forth from the ground maybe twenty feet in front of the real monster, coils pushing up its meatball eyes over a mouth filled with breadstick teeth. It looks quite fake to anyone who has half an attention span to pay attention to, but hopefully it'll draw the beasts attention long enough for him to think of something useful to do.

Oozeing/crawling/climbing- whatever you want to call it, the calzone golem was managing to finally get free from the darn building keeping his mayhem ball from rolling, something the ponies scattered about the area found most distressing as their screams heightened in pitch just a touch. Darrus surveyed the scene a moment longer, the scent of cheese becoming pungent while the mess pouring from the restaurant began to engulf the street in front of the buildin. A couple of mares being bowled over by a small wave of tomato sauce as a stallion stopped screaming long enough to take a bite out of a recently crashed chunk of cheesy bread before then picking back up his screaming flight from the scene.

Darrus took a breath to ready himself for speech.

"This is... No gouda." He said aloud, smirking at himself in pride then glancing around to see if anyone had heard and been blown away by his amazing joke that would have shattered the minds of any who weren't prepared to be taught what real humor was.

No one had noticed.

Lame.

Oh well, Darrus decided, giving another stronjg flap of his wings to avoid a spray of juices and oils shooting from a newly ruptured fissure in the golems bread exoskeleton. Now this was just starting to get out of hand, and something had to be done! Someone had to do something to save this town from the mostrosity dirtying up the street and making things all weird and oily and gross in the way that onyl cheese could. But who? Who could poss-

"I do it!" Taking off like a shot, Darrus sped all the way up to the face of the golem, causing a momentary pause in the giant calzones destruction so as to allow it time to raise an eyebrow constructed from green bell peppers.

'Haha!" Darrus announced his clear assumption of the hero role, cloak billowing behind him in a sudden wind as he struck a strong airborne pose before the beast, "Stand down you delishly delectable devil! For I will give you but one chance to cease all this nonsense and situate yourself comfortably onto a large platter before forcing you to feel the wrath of the one, the only, the best, the dashing, the brave, the handsome, the magnetic, the electrifying..." the calzone was growing bored, "...the light in the darkness, the reliable alarm clock, the chariot the never breaks down, the sundae made just right, the impossibly impressively impressionable Dar-" A mighty swat from one of the golem's sizeable fist things sent the big mouthed stallion rocketing towards the ground where he did a fine job of forming a crater. After a moment, which was enough time for the golem to forget about Darrus and return to its menacing, a hoof popped out and was used to drag a wobbly Darrus half way out of the hole, him attempting to climb out before collapsing back to the ground.

"You think you can even brunch during the tornado that was my sunday...!" He sort of said, voice wavering with a clear tone of having completely lost any grasp on what year it was.

Jazz takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bag of sweets she'd recently picked up at a new candy shop her friend had sworn she needed to try. It being in Ponyville hadn't bothered her much, the trip actually proving to be quite the nice break from the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. She takes another sip of he coffee and pulls the bag over to herself, looking inside at the various confections inside. She hasn't tried one just yet, but all of them look, and smell, delicious. But what would go well with the coffee? She sifts through the bag with her magic, trying to decide just which of the sweets to try first. Maybe one of the caramels? Or perhaps one of those white-chocolate mints? Decisions, decisions... The white-coated mare taps her hoof along with the music playing in the background as she thinks, idly sipping at her drink. She's just decided to try one of the dark chocolates with chili when a loud *boom* sounds from across the street, and Jazz drops the coffee cup in surprise, spilling it all over the table she's sitting at. Several nearby ponies bolt for the door of the coffee shop, almost as though they'd had practice doing such a thing. Jazz isn't quite so quick on the uptake, and so is one of those who remains outside, though not quite as panicked as the rest appear to be. Her surprise quickly turns to confusion at the mound of pastry and melty cheese spilling out of the hole in the wall. Which then started moving, rising up and beginning to thrash around, flinging bits of cheese and cooked vegetables all along the street. Jazz has to quickly duck to avoid a block of mozzarella sailing past her head as the delicious looking monstrosity begins to smash the remaining walls of the diner. She takes a moment to glance back at the coffee shop, where somepony had turned the sign in the door around to read "Closed" and several faces were peering out through the relative safety of the windows. Nearby, an elderly stallion has apparently not noticed the commotion, being too absorbed in a crossword puzzle and seemingly unable to hear. With another look at the rampaging baked goods, Jazz takes off toward the older pony, dodging around a few tables and chairs. She's almost reached him when a particularly large glob of cheese sails toward the still unsuspecting senior. Jazz only just manages to save him from a cheesy fate by tossing a chair into the way of the blob, knocking it aside just enough to merely splatter the table instead. This proves to be enough to finally get the stallion's attention, and he looks up and blinks several times at the sudden food-based monster attack. Jazz reaches him, quickly helping the older pony on toward the shop door and keeping a look out for any more dangerous (yet tasty) projectiles. All the while the stallion is mumbling something or other about "Monsters these days", with Jazz catching several "Back in my day"s and other complaints as they walk.

Been a bit since Darrus had taken the time to just take a leisurely stroll down the streets of Ponyville. His usual hang out (The Guiding Light) was temporarily closed for some reason or another, AJ was off to visit some family, and his chores were done on the farm, so he'd been left with few options aside from just explore the town and see what he could get up to. Not the worst idea, he'd come to realize, what with how the place tended to have something nuts happen more regularly than the sunrise a short walk could be a gosh dang full blown adventure. Nothing so far though, his passing by the various little homes and shops of the town he'd become surprisingly comfortable with amounting little more than the occasional greeting from passers-by.

It still felt weird for Darrus to actually know more than a couple of people in a town even of this small a size considering how rarely he'd ever stuck around to any particular place for more than a short spell. But stuck he had, and not be miserable because of it he also somehow had. Perhaps cause of adventure finding him here instead of him finding adventure, maybe was just a pleasant place to be, or mehbe something a bit more personal and private, but whatever the reason he didn't see himself leaving any time soon.

Maybe.

A small amateur band played around with strings and drums nearby as he turned a corner and passed a flower shop, the smell and sounds almost inspiring one to music themselves. Actually, you know what? Screw it. He hadn't sung in a while - weeks even! - and he was just in the right mood to do so now. The sun was shining, his cloak was keeping him cool as was the summer breeze that was slowly dropping into a fall one, and the band was already playing. Bobbing his head, Darrus took in a breath...

"I-"

Then the wall of the diner nearby exploded, showering him with some wooden shrapnel and causing him to lift a wing to shield his face from the downpour. Once the worst was past he allowed himself a peek at what was going on, the nearby residents of the town flipping out, a few running in literal small circles and screaming while a couple of others simply reared back and flailed their front hooves out of confused panic, eyes shut tightly so as not to even witness what was going on. Another was repeatedly bucking the wall of the building in some attempt at defending themselves from what was happening, and another was still enjoying their meal at one of the tables outside the shop, the possibility of him being deaf lending credence to his lack of a response to everything around him.

So... more or less the usual response to chaos around here.

"Mmmmmmkay," Darrus mumbled to himself, taking off in a light hover to gain a better view from above, the other ponies scurrying about beneath him as he tried to peer into the now gaping hole in the side of the building, "so the place blows up, the goobers go to code red and the cause is..."

Bread and... Cheese? A lot of cheese... and vegetables? Spilling out. Looked like... whats it called... Did someone just spill something or- oh, no wait! It was... moving? Yeah it definitely was moving. Or rather it was standing up. The bread and cheese was standing up. And boy did it stand! Almost as tall as the building itself! And it had a face made from vegetables.

"RAWWWWWWWWR!!!"

And it was roaring.

Awesome.

"Huegh?" Darrus sounded with a confused contortion of his features, him tilting his head as if that would help him understand what he was loo- Calzone! That's what the thing was! It was a calzone. Thing. A standing calzone thing that was roaring- so now we're back to being confused.

The creature - which smelled absolutely divine by the way - leaned it's cheesy head lower so as to direct another guttural roar towards the fleeing, circling, bucking and flailing ponies below, a few being blown away by the power behind such a vocalization while a couple of others just got splattered with some tomato sauce.

Darrus was certain there was a story here. He had no idea where to begin with his guessing. He also was only now just realizing how hungry he was, the calzone creature smashing away at the rest of the building around him as Darrus thought back to the few apples he'd had before heading out and- flying cheese!

A quick dip in the air to avoid the incoming wad of mozzarella being flung his way, it sailing past and splatting onto the roof of the coffee shop behind him. Darrus gave the creature a glare, though it went mostly unnoticed since it had returned itself to crushing all that pesky real estate keeping it from terrorizing the town proper.

"So," the pegasus said under his breath, "where to start..."

Day 13: Draw a pony helping out/Draw a pony cheering someone on!